Dating is a lot like marketing, we put ourselves out there and there is no telling when someone will accept what we have to offer. Once we do that, most don’t know what is expected or involved to stay afloat in the online dating world. Maybe because we are new or we are afraid as to what will happen when we do. I know, I was one. When it came to making my first contact with the person, I was terrified. All I knew is I had to be myself. If they didn’t like me for myself, it was time to move on.
What to put in your ad? First, gather up all the information that you know and like about you as a person and be honest. Everyone has some faults. Don’t tell white lies or stretch the truth because the real you will come out in the end. You can’t get away with saying you weigh 40 lbs. less because if you do meet that someone in person, better be prepared to shed those pounds fast. If you lie now about your weight, what will you lie about later? There is always someone out there who is thinking someone won’t answer my ad because of my weight. Remember, weight doesn’t make the person, what’s inside does.
Sell yourself. Here is where the marketing part comes in. Be honest when it comes to height, weight, color of eyes, hair, etc. Take a current picture of yourself. I found many people online that included a picture from five years ago and the real picture now was totally different. They had lost hair or gained more weight. Don’t mention you’re a blonde when it fact you have black hair and dye it or wear contacts that are blue and your eyes are brown.
Being honest sometimes does not get as many responses as people who sound like the perfect person, but honesty wins out overall in the long run. Write a catchy headline that describes you and your feelings. If you are a great writer of poetry, write a poem that describes you and what you are looking for in that special person. A car mechanic could write as if he were a car needing "maintenance". A Chef could write in his ad that he needs "someone to cook for and enjoy those special candle night dinners with." Express yourself in the ad.
Mention what you like to do when not working. Hobbies such as writing, sailing, boating, painting, computers are all good attributes in a person and make for great conversation later when it comes to talking on the phone or over an instant message. Do you have pets? Love music? Have Children or Grandchildren?
I wrote in my ad that I wasn’t interested in the macho guy who always spent time at the beach or at the gym. That gave me the impression that he didn’t work or maybe looked like a fit prune. I wasn’t interested in that. That was a turn off for me and I suggested that if there were any men out there like that, they didn’t need to answer my ad. None of these qualities had anything to do with the inner feelings of a person, which are more important. Stay focused as to what qualities you are looking for in a person.
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Now that you’ve traded your bad traits, dislikes and likes and current pictures and you are ready to get together for the first time, do it slowly. A lot of online dating sites will let you talk on the phone first or contact each other through instant messages. I chose emailing back and forth. Then the instant messages started. I guess I wanted to see if he could type. If he could at least spell and put his words in a sentence and make sense, then phone calls would be the next way to go.
When ready to meet in person, be sure and let someone close to you know where you will be meeting and have phone numbers just in case. After all, you don’t really know the bigger picture about this person who you are about to meet. I chose to meet the other person at a restaurant or coffee shop.
Never give out your home or workplace address if you decide this person isn’t for you after all, you can get in your car and leave. If you feel at all uncomfortable, or notice any strange or unusual signs, excuse yourself politely and say good-bye.
I did many times. Being honest with yourself and the other person is the way to go and definitely makes for a long lasting relationship.
Tags:
online,
dating