Online dating historically had a fairly jaded history, full of the horror stories of what and who people have found the fraud, the manipulators and so on. Quite recently, and for a middle age man like myself recently being within the last 10 years or so, companies have started to overcome these negative perceptions and this method of partnering is becoming much more acceptable and indeed popular.
People appear to be searching much farther afield these days and use online dating websites in order to search for their ideal partner, and why not? To me it seems quite a ridiculous precept that of all the billions of people around the world, your most suitable partner is assumed to be living no more than 200 yards from your very own doorstep!
I guess I could be labelled as an online husband. I met my wife through an online dating site and I therefore do have some genuine Tips for Success for those who may be considering such a route to happiness.
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People have often asked me in the past to share
Tips for Success with regards to the
online dating subject in one medium or another, but in the past I have been quite restrained on the subject. I think the best advice I can offer anybody is not to look too hard but it sounds quite ridiculou, doesn’t it? However, in the relatively short time that I was associated with
online dating I could spot desperation a mile off, and for me it was a big turn off!
You might ask how you avoid appearing to be desperate. Well, I think if you hold back slightly and don’t give everything up on your introduction to the
online dating site in the first instance people will revert to their natural trait of curiosity, and once curious they will keep coming back giving you an opportunity to demonstrate your true self and find out a little bit more about them.
My biggest no-no is to lie in order to glide past those initial steps (whether big, small, well intentioned or not). If you need to lie to get somebody’s attention the likelihood is that you are not compatible anyway.
Try not to be fooled by lust! Be true to yourself and also to any
potential partner. Depending on what you may wish to achieve from
online dating, painting yourself to be an exotic, experienced, highly qualified and wealthy individual when you actually struggle in all of the above is going to set any potential relationship on an immediate downhill spiral. I don’t see a problem with people who wish to better themselves and as a bit of a romantic I sign up to the idea but it is advisable to back up that desire with truth. For example, I know somebody whose partner hadn’t done many of the things that he had been fortunate enough to do in his life. He was aware of that because his partner had not tried to impress upon him otherwise. He then used this to enhance the relationship and set about planning to do some of those things so that she can have those experiences and they could look forward to reminiscing the impact of those experiences later in life.
I met many individuals when using
online dating sites who seemed to tell tales in order to impress, and when the question of any detail came up they would still persist with their stories with nonsensical and ridiculous tales that couldn’t possibly be true. It just made me wonder that if they could go down that route before we even met, what could I possibly expect later on.
My last tip for success when using
online dating sites is to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (or to be put another way, quite often only skin deep!) and your
profile pictures should be an accurate reflection of who you are now. Why go to all the effort of getting to know somebody in the belief that they are the next Audrey Hepburn just to find out that it is not the case, once again your personality will sell you, and an old or out of date picture is just another form of false promotion. If you are unhappy with your pictures I would almost advocate not posting one at all. I didn’t see a picture of my wife until I was quite hooked from 6 months of chatting and to be honest for me it was the icing on the cake and very attractive icing at that!
So to some up my tips for success when
online dating, very simply;
- Don’t appear desperate or pushy
- Be truthful about yourself and your experiences
- Post an accurate picture or don’t bother posting one at all
It’s that simple.
"Bon Chance!"