Congratulations, you’ve made it through the first date and it went well enough to warrant a second, but don’t start celebrating quite yet. Just because you tackled the awkwardness of an initial meeting doesn’t mean that you’re in the home stretch. You still have to make it though the second date, which can actually be even more stressful than the first. Both of your expectations are higher, and there is more at stake. Before you step out on this second encounter, here are a few do’s and don’ts to make this date even more successful than the first.
For the guys out there, do try to be a perfect gentleman. Most women are on alert during the second date for unwelcomed advances and inappropriate proposals. Surprise her by allowing your date to make the first move. It doesn’t matter if this is an outstretched hand or an invitation inside her apartment, women will be impressed with your self control. If nothing happens, and the date ends with a hug and a goodbye, don’t try to persuade her for more. Women are not stupid, and all of us can see when we are being played.
Here’s a hint for the ladies: Flirt if you are interested. If you aren’t, be honest and make it an early night. Do not string your date along because of feelings of guilt or obligation. Just because he bought you flowers and whisked you away to a four star restaurant doesn’t mean that you can’t tell him "thanks, but no thanks". You are the one in control and it is up to you to stand up for yourself and make your feeling very obvious. If he understands that this relationship isn’t going to turn romantic, you might have made a new friend. If he doesn’t get it, walk away, and chalk it up to a life experience.
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Keep the second date as light and fun as the first. Do not divulge all of your deepest, darkest secrets, but also don’t restrict the topics to the weather and world politics. Know that there is a happy medium when it comes to discussing your personal life. Talk about work, family, and your immediate goals. Do not start sharing your dreams of two kids, a golden retriever, and a brick house in the suburbs. This makes you seem like you are ready for a commitment, and that is enough to scare off anybody that you are just getting to know.
Whatever you did on the first date, do the exact opposite on the second. If the first date was a fun trip to the local amusement park, make the second date a romantic picnic just for two. Show your new love interest that you are versatile, creative, and life with you will never be boring. If you have a few extra bucks, why not take your date on a hot air balloon ride or treat him or her to a night at the symphony. Be spontaneous and wild. In the eyes of a possible new mate, those are never bad qualities.
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